Kiddies and Kitties

Today I started doing some deep cleaning in the bathroom and Kadence has helped me. She is such a good helper. Very smart, too. She has always been able to understand and take direction.

While I was cleaning the sink, I glanced down to where she was and saw her hitting Angel, our kitten, over and over again. I've told her untold number of times that she is not to hit the kitten, but for some reason she doesn't listen.

Part of me doesn't want to share this with anyone, because then people will see how I can be such a horrible person and mother. I don't want anyone to think badly of me, you know?

I am ashamed to say that I lost my temper. I started screaming at her that we don't hit Angel. I yelled at her to get into time-out by sitting in the chair. She started crying, and then kept saying nice and repeating the gesture that she uses when she says nice or be soft. I ignored it and kept yelling at her over and over again that we don't hit. I even yelled how would she like it if I hit her, and gave the motion as if slapping her from a distance. She cried harder. I then told her to come over to me and I held her on my lap. She immediately said nice and softly rubbed my shoulder, then hugged me.

As I continued to yell at her, telling her how next time I will hit her like she hits the kitty, I started to cry. I stopped saying anything as I thought of how I was teaching her. I was using intimidation through my voice, my facial features, my actions. I don't want to teach her through fear or intimidation. Fear is Satan's way, not Heavenly Father's way.

So I softened and lowered my voice. I told her that I didn't want to teach her this way. That hitting is wrong and that I was not going to hit her, she was not going to hit Angel, that we were going to learn a different way. I asked her if I could pray with her and ask for help on how we both could be taught a better way. She was still crying, but said yes. While I held her in my arms and rocked her, I prayed aloud and the feeling that came into the room, and into my heart, was so great. I think that Kadence felt it, too.

After the prayer I felt like I could think more clearly and I told Kadence that mommy was sorry for shouting at her. I told her that I don't and won't hit her, because we need treat each other with love. Then I said I was going to practice this. I rubbed her arm while speaking in soft tones telling her that I was sorry for screaming and that I would not do that anymore. I told her that we don't hit Angel, and that we need to be kind and loving, and so we are going to practice how we treat the kitty. I asked her to go over to where Angel was laying on the chair and show me how she should treat the cat. Then Kadence walked over and put her head softly on Angel, rubbing her cheek on her fur, turning her head to kiss her, and then took her hand and gently pet her. It was so precious. With tears streaming down my cheeks I smiled at Kadence and clapped and told her what a good job she did. I told her how proud I was of her. And then I said a quick prayer of thanks to God. I am so grateful to know that if I need help, I can say a prayer and know that my Heavenly Father will help me.