Graditude and a New Goal

I just put Kadence to bed. She still isn't feeling too well and wants me to hold her constantly. Normally she will play with her toys, especially her stuffed toys, but not lately. She is a darling little girl, though, and I love to hold her. She makes me feel so special. I know she loves me. Her smiles and laughter always brighten my mood. I feel so blessed to have this little one be gifted to me as my daughter... that I get to be her mother.

I've been thinking about this since last night: I need to dwell more on the positive, not the negative. So even if I vent my anger and frustration in posting, I have decided that I will always post something I am grateful for.

I am thankful for many things, but right now I am thankful that I can once again feel the Holy Ghost. I feel the warmth of the Spirit, especially in my bosom. A sorta burning feeling; not of pain but of joy. It radiates out from my bosom and throughout my body, up to my head, and down to my fingers and toes. It is an amazing feeling. It has only been in the last several months that I have felt this way on a day-to-day basis. I feel like this is another way that our Father in heaven has let me know that I have been forgiven. Something else to be grateful for; something that gives me peace.

I want to have a real connection with God. I want to trust in him more fully. My greatest desire, and something I am working towards, is to talk to Father daily. I don't mean just say words out of habit, either. I want my prayer to have more meaning and to actually feel like I am conversing with him. I definitely want to be a better listener. Not just talk at heavenly Father, but listen. I don't know how many times I have said my prayers, and then just gone about doing my thing, not taking into consideration to actually wait and listen to what I should do, listen to what he has to say. I am going to change that, not just for me but for Kadence. I want her to learn and know that her prayers will be answered and that God will talk to her. What better way for her to do that then to be the example and show her the way.

Lately it seems like I pray more fervently when I want or need something. My prayers should be just as fervent when giving him praise and thanks. So I am going to work on that. Also, I am attempting to get on my knees and pray instead of just laying in bed half-asleep. I need to be more humble when I pray, and I think the physical act of kneeling will help me to get into that mode. I don't know if I am expressing this right, but I know what I mean.

Well, I'm off to bed.